Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize