Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
