I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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