standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
