THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
