I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
