Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize