R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
