that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
