I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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