Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
