my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
