Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
