I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
