12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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