I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
