Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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