you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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