Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
