I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
false alarm, still single
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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