I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
