We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
