We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
