He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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