david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
