They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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