somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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