Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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