I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
