I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
