Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude i'm inner monologue high
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
as a side note pls kill me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
