Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
