I hate all girls vehemently.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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