She said her name was "party"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
