You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
