No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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