You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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