it wasn't lemon gatorade
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
