I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
