make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
