He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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