we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
