New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
