The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
