I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
