Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
