new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize