I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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