So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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