school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Mom said you looked used
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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