using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
