goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize