Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm too high and old for this...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
