i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
