no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
