Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize