it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
