Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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