i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
