I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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