Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
