Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
