idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize